Let People (Not) Enjoy Things

It’s become a cliché by now.

“Don’t yuck someone’s yum.”

“You do you.”

Or, as the now-famous comic strip by Adam Ellis urges: “Let people enjoy things.”

Does someone like something you don’t? Pokemon? Star Trek? Football? Plaid? Dark romance novels? Horror films? Four-wheeling? Pineapple on pizza? Well-done steak? If they’re not hurting anyone in the process, there’s no reason to mock or judge them for it. There are so many wonderful things to enjoy in this world, and so many humans to enjoy them. We should be happy that there are people who have interests that differ from ours, because how boring – and competitive – would it be if we all liked the same things? And hey, being surrounded by people with different interests from yours might lead you to learn something new or see things with a fresh perspective! Really, it’s a win-win.

The flip side of the coin is this: we should also let people not enjoy things. Yes, I really love the book Dune. Many people do. My love for Dune is nearly obsessive, partially because I read it at a formative age and partially because the blend of mysticism, political intrigue, and unique world building is unlike anything I’ve ever read before (or since).

BUT.

When people tell me they don’t like Dune or couldn’t get through it, I – gasp! – don’t take it personally. It’s not a reflection on me. It’s not a reflection on them. Because a) as much as I love it, even I can admit it’s not perfect (nothing is), and b) I understand that people like – and don’t like – different things.

At this point, you might be thinking, “Well, duh, Reina! What an unnecessary blog post! Why are you wasting my time like this?”

::sigh::

Sadly, this blog post was not born from nothing (nothing is). Two separate events occasioned it. The first was a post by Gail Carriger, an author whom I very much admire. In this post, Carriger listed several tropes or plot points that are “dealbreakers” for her (i.e., things she doesn’t want to read any more). A couple of the entries on her list were tropes/plot points that I use in my writing. I was dismayed at first. Since I admire Carriger’s writing, does the fact that I write things differently mean I’m doing something wrong?

Of course not! In the very same post, Carriger talks about her dislike of “first person present tense” perspective in books. This particular point of view and tense is extremely popular right now, so obviously there are plenty of people who disagree with Carriger in this regard. And I’ve even seen people on Booktok refusing to read a book written in third person. This is about personal preference. NOT objective value.

Which leads me to the second thing that inspired this post. I recently witnessed a discussion about Rebecca Yarros’ Empyrean Series wherein several participants seemed flat-out indignant at the idea that some readers don’t like the second or third books as much as the first. “The only people who didn’t like Iron Flame or Onyx Storm are ‘pick me’s or people who don’t really read fantasy,” one commenter insisted. Another said “I just don’t believe people didn’t like [them].” At first, I rolled my eyes at these responses (and, as someone who loved Fourth Wing but DNF’d Iron Flame, I naturally objected to the idea that I am a “pick me” or a non-fantasy reader). But then I remembered the way I felt when I first read Gail Carriger’s list, the knee-jerk impulse to perceive a criticism of something I love as a criticism of me (and thus to feel somewhat offended by that criticism). And then I understood what had gotten those commenters a bit hot and bothered.

But y’all…can we not? Can we let people enjoy – and not enjoy – different types of media without getting our figurative panties in a bunch?

Feel free to comment below!

In Proximum, Regina Vestra